did anyone else have the fucking. dolphin girls at school
they were like horse girls except they couldnt ht gfbfnfbnfj eb do sorry a mojth started attacking me
its dive bombing me like its world war 2 im just tryn to shit
toilet roll now controlled by enemy forces
anyway dolphin girls where like horse girls but since they couldnt get their own dolphins they always had 24 books called like “sparkle glimmer cove” wherever they went
(via kirinh)
moment of genuine kinship with the man who noticed me applying lip chap while bagging my groceries as he took out his lip chap and applied as he walked by
truly the most genuine moment of compassion with a strange man has been when he met my eyes and motioned his lip chap in a cheers motion. forever my brother in arms
think i might be lonely
(via wardenunit)
my face when i went to pizza pizza today and saw that you could get pesto or bbq sauce or garlic sauce on your pizza instead of marinara and asked the cashier which one she recommends and she said “i would never eat here”
(via wardenunit)
there is something oddly satisfying about pairing meat with alcohol
these were two totally different responses to my post and yet they are both equally valid
Responses from an Elf and a Dwarf
(via pipermint--patty)
pippenpaddlopsicopolisthethird:
Tracking Service, as helpfully as possible: Your order is out for delivery! It should arrive by 8 PM today!
Me, sitting by the door at 8:12 AM: pakige
Me opening my apartment door anytime I hear the outside door open despite it being 10AM: Böx?
(via laughingeel)
*sneezes and shoots my butt plug out of my ass at 55 mph towards my next victim*
(via lawn-and-order)
ME TRYING TO SURVIVE ROLLING WITH MY COACH 😱😂
This is my favorite.
(via jungdagon)
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